Everyone, just relax. It's fine. The Apple corporation is just entering your home on a regular basis and rifling through your photo album. This is perfectly normal, because you might have pictures of 15 year old girls. Which you took when you were 16. But you're 18 now, so if you've upset the wrong people you can be locked up for life. Be glad you're not just quietly taken out the back and shot, like in some other countries.

We're more civilised here, you see? We just put you on a list. You can go about the rest of your life. It'll be a bit... shit, but at least you'll get to regret angering the rich and powerful.