you can grind your way to a high SAT score (I know this personally because in a span of 2-3 months i went from mediocre to 'great' SAT scores just from grinding), you can grind your way to great grades, you can grind your way to an "elite" college. But ultimately, while those things may help you get ahead, they don't make or break you. What is needed to be successful is hard work, creativity,risk taking and luck. Your woe is me attitude is going to hold you back much more than your not attending an elite university.