I am a woman. I married "down". I also married a man shorter than me, something I don't advertise much because men who are shorter than average tend to have enormous amounts of baggage and I don't want every short man on the planet thinking I am the solution to their problem. In many cases, I do not want to get involved with them because they are assholes, not because of their height.
As a woman who defies two really common stereotypes here, I will suggest that most women are as bad about wanting men who are tall and moneyed as men are typically bad about wanting someone younger and hot looking. And, hey, those two types go well together. They don't make for the kind of relationship I want, but women aren't all saints who marry for "love" with zero conditions or whatever the hell. Most women are just as biased about who they date as men are, they just have different biases than men have.
> I will suggest that most women are as bad about wanting men who are tall and moneyed as men are typically bad about wanting someone younger and hot looking
Agreed, although there seems to be a big difference in the social acceptability of admitting it.
Women will quite openly say they want a tall man, without being criticised. Whereas a man who says "I won't date anyone who weighs more than xxx lbs" or "I'll only date women at least 5 years younger than me" will often be seen as a shallow asshole.
This is only based on my experience of discussing it with (male and female) friends. YMMV
I agree with you and that is why I am commenting on it: Because "men are assholes" if they comment on it.
I think the reason for that is because men have so much more economic and political power than women and there is a lot of expectation that heterosexual women will get financial support for their male lover. So a woman who is not "picky" is "a whore, just selling it" and a man who is too picky about things like looks is "just treating women like sex objects." The sex for money deal is only socially acceptable when they love each other and marry for love and then the defacto situation that he probably brings more money to the table is somehow OK.
I think there are legitimate concerns there, but I don't agree with the way we resolve those issues. I do what little I can to try to change the conversation about such things.
As a woman who defies two really common stereotypes here, I will suggest that most women are as bad about wanting men who are tall and moneyed as men are typically bad about wanting someone younger and hot looking. And, hey, those two types go well together. They don't make for the kind of relationship I want, but women aren't all saints who marry for "love" with zero conditions or whatever the hell. Most women are just as biased about who they date as men are, they just have different biases than men have.