The first two in your list are standard English words with well-defined meanings. You may or may not agree with their applicability in any particular situation but they weren't invented to serve as slurs.
I note that 'conversations' with SJWs are are laden with loaded SJW jargon. SJWs usually describe themselves as Social Activists, or feminists - but I call them neither because that would imply that either I am in opposition those roles, or believe that this is what they are.
I don't, and since I can't call them what they call themselves (or masquerade as), I need to invent my own terminology - which inherently biases the meaning of that terminology.
Use the terms people choose for themselves as a basic matter of respect. You can easily make it clear when you feel that a particular term is being used inappropriately or that you disagree with someone's interpretation. For example, referring to someone as a Catholic, Southern Baptist, or Jehovah's Witness avoids the inevitably contentious question of who considers whom a Christian or whether you personally agree.
If you felt a particular person was claiming one of those identities falsely, it's still better to specifically identify who and what you object to rather than assume that everyone else shares your definitions.
SJW may be a type of feminist, but it alters the meaning of the phrase: "The author is a SJW." as above.
Your example just conflates issues, but to use that example:
"John is a catholic, so he isn't going to criticize the pope", has a different meaning to "John is a christian, so he isn't going to criticize the pope".
Furthermore, SJW is to feminist as Catholic is to Christian; namely, a subset. Hence avoiding the word 'feminist' is taking your advice.
Again, this is not that hard: if someone self-identifies as an SJW, you can use that term to refer to them. If they don't, avoid it. In both cases, it's better to specify the precise classification you have in mind rather than confuse everyone who doesn't know how _you_ define that term.
For example, you defined SJW as a subset of feminism but the term is also often directed against people who are protesting what they consider racism; gun violence; discrimination against people who are handicapped, practice non-mainstream religions, etc. I know of at least two conservative Republicans who were dismissed as SJWs because they disagreed with things said under the gamergate banner, and they certainly wouldn't label themselves as feminist or progressive.
Not that hard? That isn't the issue, and I'll take my own advice, Thanks. BTW, Do you avoid any word ending '-ist' unless someone self-identifies?
SJW is no more ambiguous than 'liberal'. If you want a precise classification, follow the context of the conversation. My definition of SJW isn't unique to me.
> you defined SJW as a subset of feminism
> the term is also often directed against people who are protesting ...
Ok, subset of SJ activists, granted feminist activists aren't the only type.
But people can protest the same things and not get that label also.
It's not what, it's how. That's the extra semantic behind it -
Much like the label 'sycophant' will be applied on the basis not for trying to gain advantage, but for how they do it.
> who were dismissed as SJWs because they disagreed with things said under the gamergate
Many things can be used as a slur. Give me kosher version of SJW I'll use it.
In the end though, you can replace the slurs with more clinical descriptions of the kind of behaviors SJWs partake in, and it'll still be negative.
Calling someone an SJW is basically accusing them of a particular type of bias, and cultural membership, on the basis observations of their behavior being consistent with that culture. Throw out that practice, you'll be throwing out a lot more than just that phrase.
You could begin by trying to understand individually what they stand for before you paint them with a wide brush. Try asking them. There are lots of people who want to effect different kinds of social change. There isn't a uniform voice about what these changes should be, either. Labelling all voices of change as "SJW" is a tactic to help you avoid trying to understand what they really are talking about, and thus save yourself from being part of any change.
“brogrammer” is indeed not helpful.