I am suspicious of an unintended end result with all the Mindfullness rhetoric being published. I have three friends very, very into it, and one of them ain't that bright. Their experience, as they relate them to me, is more like a fear of ones own thought processes and they appear to be developing thought phobias. I tell this person that they are misunderstanding something, because it should not be triggering stress, but there it is, stressing them out that they "think wrong". Anything that makes a person fear their own thought process is really, really fucked up.
It's not the mindfulness itself, but they definitely get it wrong. Your advice to them is really great and it could be taken as the most universal meditation advice ever: "If it's stressful, you're doing it wrong".
As the Buddha said, "there's no such thing as noble suffering".
Mindfulness is definitely not meant to suppress thought or even certain types of thought. At its core it is non-judgmental observation of arising mental phenomena. That means thought, emotion, perception (e.g. touch), and even consciousness as observables, without any type of internal labeling ('that's a bad thought, that's a bad emotion, etc.').
It's possible for people to fall into this, where they exclusively focus on concentration meditation (like the breath) that leads to a kind of narrow-mindedness. It's also difficult because there are just so many books out there for people to read, that it's tough to know exactly what people are reading and suggesting to others, and some of the new-agey type literature ('think positive!') can possibly be harmful.
There are many reputable sources (historically and currently) that can say that the purpose is NOT to suppress your thoughts, even though this can be a common misconception about meditation practice.
I do worry I 'think wrong' sometimes when I don't concentrate as much as I'd like or I don't meditate as often as I like, but honestly one thing that keeps me from doing it that often is that I actually really enjoy my mind bouncing around from thought to thought as I drift off into sleep.
I'm a creative person, and I've gotten some really great ideas for projects or solved some things at work by just letting my mind bounce around from idea to idea, so I'm hesitant to replace that with a still mind. Although every once in awhile I need to relax or calm down and meditation helps with that.
I have been exposed to different forms of meditation, and I personally prefer the Transcendental Meditation form. Under TM, one repeats a nonsense phrase while in a quiet place with one's eyes closed. After a bit, a self hypnosis occurs, and one's mind takes a little acid trip. Afterwards, about 15 to 20 minutes, I feel like a just woke from a refreshing nap and I have great clarity of mind.
Comparing this to Mindfulness, which I am not completely understanding, seems like a completely different type of meditation that takes one's presence (what you're supposed to be doing) into the mediation, whereas TM is like a 20 minute vacation from what you're supposed to be doing.
It sounds like your friend is identifying that thought as being inseparable from him/herself. I think one of the strengths of mindfulness is to slowly come to the realization that your thoughts are not you. They are just thoughts. We humans are designed to secrete thoughts thousands of times per day. Some are weird and scary, some are beautiful, but none of them have to identify 'us'.
Part of any sane meditation practice is open minded curiosity toward our own thoughts rather than rejection or outright suppression. An unpleasant thought should be acknowledged, labeled, and set aside while meditating.
